Chicken Chili on a Halloween Night!

Tonight we will go to our friends’ house. A lot of friends will be there as this is our traditional “CHILI” night – something we’ve done every Halloween for years.

The kids will be running through the house, the doorbell will be ringing nonstop, we parents will be taking turns handing out candy and admiring the darling costumes (or commenting on the not-so-lovely costumes) … and we’ll be enjoying some of Anne’s tasty Chicken Chili.

The women usually congregate together around the table and the men hang out in another room. The kids trade their candies in the garage. It just happens that way. It has always happened that way.

Close friendships are crucial. We need to share. We need each other.

Truly these are the best years of our lives. We know that raising our families is a gift from God and the gifts we’ve been handed, our marriages and children, are what brings us together.

So in the midst of Halloween, costumes, candy and pumpkins, we parents know that it’s not about a beautiful home or the food that will be served tonight – it’s about tradition, memories, happiness and catching up with great friends.

Some of our kids are older now or have moved on to college. Some of our kids are too old for trick-or-treating and are off working at harvest festivals or hanging out with their buddies.

But we parents keep coming back. It’s our tradition.
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(I’m not sure what Anne puts in her Chicken Chili, but here is my recipe, adapted from Portland’s Palate cookbook, pg. 181)

SPICY CHICKEN CHILI

1 Costco Roasted Chicken (pulled apart)
2 T oil
1 cup onion, chopped
1 pepper (I use red or yellow), chopped
Lots of garlic
2 cans Mexican-style stewed tomatoes
2 cans pinto beans, drained
1 can kidney beans, drained
1 can black beans, drained
1 cup salsa
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chili powder
½ tsp salt

Sauté onion, pepper and garlic. Add chicken and rest of ingredients and simmer for 20 minutes. OR simmer in crock-pot all day long.

This recipe tastes even better when it sits overnight and is served the next day. Double or triple the recipe for a real crowd-pleasing meal!

Happy Halloween!

(Photos: our sweet Andie playing in a Portland pumpkin patch; Paul and me at a dress-up party earlier this year)

Are Hostess Gifts Necessary?

I’ve had friends ask me about Hostess Gifts. Are they necessary, required, expected? What do I do?

I thought about an Open House that my husband and I recently attended. It was lavish, first-class, in a beautiful setting with wonderful friends. They were sharing their blessing with all of us and we were honored to attend.

But, what do you give to someone who seems to have everything?

Or these questions may even be going through your mind:

What if you are on a tight budget?

What if you normally bring a small gift, but you forgot to get one and at the last minute you are scrambling?

Will the hostess think less of you if you don’t bring one?

What if you are a working mom and it’s all you can do to get your family there on time?

What did I bring to this Open House? At the last minute I searched through my “gift closet.” After checking it out and deciding I am definitely low on gifts, I had to come up with something else.
(On our way to an Open House with great friends, Minor and Jeannie)

I wanted to keep it simple. I am not into impressing or out-doing. After all, it’s the thought that counts!

I ended up taking jars of homemade applesauce, zucchini relish and apple butter! I know that most people do not can, but this worked for me. I’ve also taken any excess from my garden in the summertime (top photo of garden cherry tomatoes). You can be very creative in how you present these to the hostess!

Here are a few inexpensive gift ideas that I have both taken and received:

· I keep on hand Pampered Chef mini spatulas ($4) which everyone LOVES
· Also the Pampered Chef mini whipper ($3)
· A fresh loaf of bread (I take cinnamon chip – great for weekend French toast the whole family can enjoy) from you local breadstore
· A bag of nuts is always yummy
· I stock up on kitchen towels when they come on sale
· Candles are lovely, especially one that is used in the kitchen
· Fresh-baked cookies
· Chocolates (just for the hostess!)
· Anything from Harry & David (we’re lucky – it’s right down the street from us!)
· Lotion or hand soap
· The most common, I’d say, is a bottle of wine (if wine drinkers)
· Anything from your garden!

If you’re short on time, how about skipping the hostess gift and sending a heartfelt “thank you” (read "thank you" post here) in the mail the following week. If the hostess is like me, she will cherish that card and remember the memories more than a gift!

When I entertain I never expect a hostess gift. However, I’m always delighted and surprised when I get one. I love everyone’s unique ideas and individuality went it comes to this special act of thoughtfulness.

Although etiquette is good to follow, sometimes it gets in the way and becomes bondage. Not always, but sometimes.

In light of that, I want to keep the blessings of entertaining simple.

I sometimes think to myself: What if this is my last meal ever with my guests?

Isn’t the memory of the time together a gift in itself?

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Speaking of gifts, who wants to peek at the package I sent Mrs. B at the Starcrossed Blogger, who won my Fall Package giveaway, and beautiful customized apron, for my one-year blogiversary?

Check it out yourself! But Shhhh, don't tell Mrs. B! It hasn't arrived on her doorstep yet!!

(click on photo to make larger)

A Very Pumpkin Day!

Confidence is beautiful when you realize that you are who God made you to be. That you are created in His image, that you are of value, and that you are worth a lot!

This is what we based our Balcony Girls lesson on today.

It was a rich day, vibrant in color (as you can see) with crisp cold air, when my girls and me showed up (with pumpkins in hand) at Jeannie and Minor’s beautiful home, where the apple cider was on the stove and the hot apple crisp in the oven.

My girls learned a first hand lesson – with a $10 bill.

After showing these girls this clean, stiff $10 bill, and asking if they’d like to have it, each girl’s hand went up in the air. Then the lesson began. I scrunched it up into a little ball (as their eyes got big!), and then reopened it. I pointed out that even though the money was scrunched up, the value stayed the same.

Then I stomped on it, walked on it, jumped on it. We all agreed – it was still worth $10.

The example continued as I wadded it up into a ball again and asked each girl to imagine herself as the money – then I threw it to each one saying, “others are gossiping about you,” “bullying you,” “spreading rumors about you,” “leaving you out,” “ snickering,” … “glaring at you.”

Each time one girl would throw the wadded $10 bill back to me, I would open it up and we’d all agree that the value remained the same.

When we feel we are worthless, or come up against a mean girl who does mean things, our confidence is shaken.


But our value always stays the same. God loves us no matter what, and our value to Him never changes.

It was a precious time as Jeannie chimed in and shared some insights with us. We continued to talk about how others can be jealous of our confidence, what over-confidence looks like, and even what happens when you lose confidence.

The hands were flying in the air. Each girl had a story or two to tell – they could all relate to our subject today.

As Jeannie shared with the Balcony Girls (another way for the hesitant reluctant entertainer to have fun with kids!), she also set up a craft for the girls in her garage.

We each decorated our own pumpkin and filled it with fresh dirt and pansies. Jeannie’s husband, Minor, helped out even to the very end, when he followed us home in his red truck and delivered the pumpkins to each house.

As I drove away, I thought to myself, “Balcony Girls come in all ages,” thinking of my friend Jeannie and how she has enriched my life for 25 years. Not only is she an affirmer in my life, she loves the younger generations as well. Loving others and giving your life away – more secrets of a Balcony Girl.

Yes, it was a very pumpkin day.

A great pumpkin day!

(For more inspiration, read Goodness Grows post here. And it was Thursday Night, with another great Hoppi blessing. You can read about it here.)

(One of the BG's won the $10 bill at the end of lesson, otherwise you can use a $50 or $100 bill for more impact!)

Confidence Builder

We are all faced with great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt

My husband recently took a required national coaching test, and on that test he learned that the number one creator of confidence in kids is past performance.

This last week Abby and I were getting ready to head out to a wedding rehearsal, as she was going to be playing her violin in her first wedding! She was practicing and telling her Daddy how nervous she was. “You can do it, baby,” Paul told her. Then he explained the above scenario to her, which really encouraged her.

How many times has she performed in church, talent shows, or for dinner parties? She has had success, so experiencing what her Daddy explained to her, her confidence was already boosted.

I can’t help but relate this story to the reluctant entertainer. The one who really desires to start practicing hospitality, but something is holding them back.

I am encouraging YOU to reach out this month, to invite some guests over, and get one successful dinner party under your “apron.” (Dinner party as in – dinner around your table or a buffet dinner or even take-out or pizza!) JUST DO IT!

If you take your mind off of the details and the worries of “what if,” and realize that people don’t really care about perfection and that most are longing for connection, I guarantee you’ll be completely surprised by the outcome!

If you are reluctant, will you reach out?

If you are not reluctant, will you share a story that boosted your confidence?

If you want to read another thought-provoking post that I wrote earlier this year on "Squelching Fear" go here!

(Photos: Abby getting ready to play her violin and then eyeing her Daddy as he says, "You can do it!")

Teaching Over a Box of Pears

I don’t usually think of myself as older, but today I did. My niece came over today to learn how to can pears.

I remember as a child watching my mother’s hands work a knife – she had such a talent for peeling a pear perfectly, wasting very little. I found myself standing alongside of Addie as we peeled 2 lugs of pears. My pear skins came off a little smoother than hers, but I’ve had more practice over the years.

It’s a wonderful feeling to teach someone younger something that you value and have learned as an adult. As our friendship is based on love, affirmation, and encouragement, there is no competition involved. There is no room for criticism or judgmental attitudes. We build each other up. We take delight in each other’s achievements. We have a mutual respect for one another. You would never even know our age difference, except that I can peel a pear better than her!

So how do we teach the younger? I chose to take the time out of my busy schedule to teach Addie something she desired to learn about. It seems to me that few, too few, of us older women really take the time to teach younger moms different aspects of homemaking.

We think of “mentoring” or “teaching” in a more formal situation, but my answer is short and simple: it is best done over the natural course of life. By finding someone that you connect with and a shared interest.

I rarely think of “teaching” as a conscious thing that I want to do. Or, when I hang out with older friends, I’d much rather observe and absorb the spirit in which they live, the example in how they love their husband and treat their family.

A dear friend that I have known for almost 20 years comes to mind. Dee has been such a precious gift in my life. While she took great interest in my life long before I became a married woman and mother to 3 children, I was able to observe her humility before God, her spirituality and practicality in daily living, and her love for her family.

She has always encouraged me to use my gifts, even though mine were different than hers. From the very beginning of our friendship we had an instant connection.

Here is a nugget that I gleaned from Dee: Wait until advice is requested. I don’t think Dee ever told me what I was doing wrong. And if I did ask for advice, Dee would base it on her life experiences.

I understand that there is wisdom in years, but I never want to lose my passion for loving others, because I think I have “arrived.”

I adore the fact that I can learn from younger people, and I am thankful for the time that Addie took to be taught today, but little did she know what she taught me in return.

As she shared about life’s ups and downs, as a new mom and a baby on the way, Addie’s perspective has always been to look for the advantage, and then to build on that.


Back in my kitchen, we finally finished our pears and boxed them up for her to take home to her family. Another beautiful fall day passed with a great lesson for both of us. We gave each other a hug and went on with our busy days as mommies do.

(The love of entertaining can definitely be caught and taught. For a further glimpse into my life, you can read one of my previous posts, Catch the Passion.)

Celebrate With Me!

Celebrate with me.

Celebrate with my confetti cake and me.

Celebrate with my confetti cake and me as I announce my “one year blogiversary” contest winner on 4 Reluctant Entertainers!

But let me start off with this: I really am humbled and thankful for the many heartfelt, positive comments left on my last post. This next year, not only will I keep writing for my kids, I will keep writing to help and encourage individuals across America.

If you are new to RE, reading this particular “winners” post will tell you exactly what has happened on my blog in this last year.

Here are some comments that particularly moved me:

I’ve definitely started focusing on serving my guests (not just food!) rather than serving myself (making sure the house looks good).

I love the Ten Commandments and keep them on the side of my refrigerator.

Your Balcony Girls group has inspired me to begin a similar group when my daughter gets older.

I love the thrifty posts and the recipes, and your ideas for conversation starters.

I really enjoy how you get your kids involved in entertaining.

I love how you bring your whole self to the entertaining process, because that is what the guests will remember.

It is so wonderful to know that I don’t have to have a huge budget in order to make my home beautiful.

You have de-mystified entertaining for a lot of women. You have taken the fear out of doing so.
I also take to heart the more sobering comments that I hope RE will continue to help:

I expect perfection of myself, but I never attain it.

Even as old as I am, I have never felt good enough to entertain or cook for others.

I’ve always felt I’ve had certain standards to meet. I entertain on a “need to” basis, not a “want to.”

Opening my home to others has always meant opening for others to see my imperfections, my shortcomings, and my lack of decorating sense.
Now for the winner!

Oh, how I wish I could have given this package away to each and every friend who commented (and even posted about it on your own blogs – thank you!)

CONGRATULATIONS to MRS. B from her blog The Starcrossed Blogger!

Although I’m new to Mrs. B’s blog, she’s a true sister after my own heart (says her profile): I am a dreamer, a perfectionist, a God-seeker. I am a mother and a wife. I am a homemaker, a chocolate lover, and a laughter addict. Love to read, write, create.

If you get a chance, head on over to Mrs. B’s and give her a hearty welcome and congratulations.

Maybe we’ll see an upcoming post of her in her new apron! (If anyone is interested in ordering your own personalized apron, please email Hoppi at hankicards@msn.com ).

Stay tuned for more exciting posts on RE, keeping many of your questions in mind!


Be encouraged. Be challenged!

Sandy

(Photos: Abby and I had a blast yesterday making this confetti "photo prop" cake and snatching these crazy photos!)

One Year (and WIN!)

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun. –Mary Lou Cook

I love this quote because it describes me exactly one year ago this week, as I reluctantly* started my blog ‘4 Reluctant Entertainers,’ and set out to help people in their journey to gracious living, entertaining, reaching out and living a life of hospitality. I kept in mind my mission of not only helping others, but of writing to my children, so that one day I will print out and bind up these posts, and hand them to each child and their spouse.

Here was my very first post, Oct. 18, 2006:

With the best intentions, many of us think about entertaining, but never get around to it. Usually this happens because we don’t have enough time, we’re disorganized or our spouse isn’t interested in hosting a party, or even a small dinner!

For many this blessing of gracious living for both the host and her guests never takes place because of fear … fear of failure, unable to cook, unwilling to share their lives with others, fear of deepening friendships … they are intimidated and think the meal has to be perfect, or … they don’t have the lifestyle that says, “welcome.”

I believe in connection.I believe that Americans need to lower the expectations of perfection and open their homes to heart-warming dinners and in doing so, open their lives to LOVE!

To celebrate this one-year experience in my life, I am giving away a beautiful apron (customized or kept plain, for you or a friend or even a gift!), along with a very special FALL package, including some of my home cookin’ and other fun southern Oregon surprises!

Here's what you need to do to win: Please post a comment, maybe how my blog has resonated with you this last year and has helped you along your entertaining journey. I’d also love to hear of future posts ideas that would be helpful to you.

(Graciously post about this give-a-way on your blog (just let me know), and your name will go into the drawing twice! )

Comments will be collected and the winner’s name posted on FRIDAY, October 19th.

*Me, reluctant? Yes! I finally gave in to my friend Barb who kept encouraging me to “start a blog!” So thank you to Barb, and to my sweet hubby, Paul, and a lot of new friends in blogland who have cheered me on along the way this last year.

[Photos: My personalized "Reluctant Entertainer" apron, made by Hoppi (Thursday Night Dinners)]

An Unexpected Lesson (& the RE Message is Spreading!)

I didn’t think I’d write a post about Balcony Girls this week. But two things happened. A thrill for cooking was reignited in me. And the girls learned a powerful lesson again!

Our time started off in my home, sitting together and discussing what it means to be a Courageous Girl. Showing bravery in the face of fear, learning how to be an encourager (fostering courage in another person), and how it’s almost impossible to take any chances in life without facing your fears and showing courage.

Then the fun began. We went down the street to Kitchen Depot where the owner, Judy, allowed our Balcony Girls group to come into her kitchen store for a cooking demonstration. First she walked us through the store and showed us the many cool, yet so practical, new kitchen tools. Something burned inside of me after seeing all of these tools. A thrill for cooking defiantly was reignited just walking through this awesome store!

The girls sat on the barstools in the kitchen while Judy taught them how to make several appetizers using some specialized kitchen tools. Each girl got to participate, ask questions, eat, and enjoy. The girls were so excited and energized, and I must say that Judy was an excellent teacher, very knowledgeable and very patient.

As we were getting ready to depart, the unexpected lesson happened. Judy wanted to know what a Balcony Girl was – and as each girl explained it to her, Judy got tears in her eyes. She got down on the girls’ level and looked into their eyes.

She explained how her experience in school growing up was a very painful one, because she was always the tallest girl in the class. She was not accepted, she was picked on and teased, and those experiences went deep into the core of her being.

She explained to the girls that she wished she had had balcony friends in her life growing up. And right then the girls got it!

Can you imagine how different life would have been if Judy had had friends who were “courageous” and stood up for her?

We often think of courage being fostered only in ourselves when we are brave. But what about being a courageous friend and actually offering courage (encouragement) to another person, including the victim of a bully? Those friends could have pointed out the positive aspects of being a tall girl. They could have included her more. They could have seen beyond Judy’s height and awkwardness, straight into her loving soul!

The girls and I gave Judy a hug, we thanked her, and we walked away with yet another lesson for Balcony Girls: that courage really matters. That we can’t pass up one opportunity when it comes to being a courageous Balcony Girl!
(Photo: Girls getting an Extreme Juice drink right after Kitchen Depot fun!)

Exciting News!

The Reluctant Entertainer message is spreading! Some of my blog posts have been adapted into articles to Crosswalk.com. This is very exciting news to me, as more and more people are going to get the help they need to go from reluctant to gracious entertaining!

Thank You Notes Required?

Each time I entertain, do I anxiously await a thank you note from my guests? No.

When I receive a “thank you” in the mail, or even a phone call or an email the next day, it always comes as a surprise, because I’m not expecting it. I savor the words and it’s so nice to read or hear these words because it brings back great memories of a fantastic time shared with friends.

While growing up, my mother read Good Housekeeping* regularly. I remember as a child thumbing through the magazine and reading Emily Post’s column. So now I ask myself, “What would Emily say?”

I looked up the etiquette for sending a “thank you note” after a dinner party. Peggy Post (Emily's daughter) says:

Neither a gift sent later nor a note is necessary for a dinner-party invitation; your verbal thanks when you leave is enough. A phone call the next day – or even a note – to say how much you enjoyed the evening is always welcome.

I have several stacks of notes that I have saved. A few years ago I purchased a ring to hole punch each one and keep as a reminder of the importance of entertaining. It’s wonderful to read back through what people write, how they were touched, and what specifically meant a lot to them. Some day one of these friends will be gone, and it’s my little way of having a personal keepsake from that person.

A reader wrote me this week about kids and thank you notes:

How do you handle thank-you notes? That is my biggest challenge with kids!

My daughter recently had 14 girls over for her birthday. What I have done in the past is taken a group picture at each party. As soon as I download the pictures on to my computer I pick the best group picture and copy it right away on colored paper, 14 times! Then Abby will write her own personal note, sign and send (or hand deliver to save a stamp).

Boys are a little harder. I stock up on Dollar Store thank you notes and sometimes it takes a little extra nudging for them to complete the task – but it gets done!

My friend Hoppi is going to help me teach my Balcony Girls about letter/note writing. She is so gifted with words and even though most of my girls have already learned this ‘art’ from their mothers, it never hurts to have some fun with it on a wintry, cold Balcony Girls day! With email, cell phones and just the hurriedness that we all feel in daily living, I believe that thank you notes are an essential touch to gratitude.

Do I expect them? No. But I sure love it when I get one.

* Speaking of Good Housekeeping, check out the article on pg. 243 in October's edition by blogger, Shannon, from Rocks In My Dryer.

(Top photo: I couldn’t help but post another beautiful picture from a few weeks ago - Golden Delicious apples cooking down before the applesauce process! Bottom photo: a few of my keepsake thank you notes)

If you get a minute, tune in to Family Life Radio tomorrow (Friday, Oct. 12) and you’ll hear Paul talking about his new release, No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps! It’s a great interview with Dennis Rainey!

"Promise Little, Deliver Much," by Liz Curtis Higgs

I recently asked my friend and “sis,” Liz Curtis Higgs, about hospitality in her life. She said it's very hard because of all the speaking and traveling she does, but she kindly offered this exclusive passage on hospitality for my Reluctant Entertainer readers, from her new release, Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible.

I find valuable the line, "promise little, deliver much," and the fact that Sarah got the food together quickly more to honor, than to make a perfect meal.

Read on to the very last line … “a shared meal…” and you’ll see where this excerpt from Liz’s new book really creates food for thought regarding hospitality!

The tent entrance was a fine place to greet visitors, handle family disputes, and guard the contents of the tent while the dark goatskin walls were thrown open, allowing the desert breezes to pass through.

Curtains separated the commodious space into various areas for sleeping and eating, while woven mats served as rugs, seats, and beds. Perhaps Abraham leaned back into the entranceway to avoid the worst of the sun, not quite escaping the noonday heat as he shaded his eyes from the airborne sand.

Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. Genesis 18:2

We’ve already been told “the Lord appeared,” so one of these three men was God in the guise of a man—a theophany—while the two accompanying him were angels. The phrase “behold, three men” (nasb) tells us they didn’t stroll up; they made a “sudden appearance.”

No wonder Abraham scrambled to his feet to make them welcome.

“Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree.” Genesis 18:4

Wasn’t Abe the perfect host? In a dry and dusty climate, open leather sandals were de rigueur, and washing the feet of guests was the first lesson in Hospitality 101. The second lesson? Promise little, deliver much. Bragging about what you had in your pantry was considered tacky.

“Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed…” Genesis 18:5

Why did desert folk bend over backward to make strangers feel welcome? So they could “transform potential enemies into at least temporary friends.” With a nod from his guests, Abraham dashed into the tent to find Sarah and breathlessly ordered their meal.

“Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of fine flour and knead it and bake some bread.” Genesis 18:6

If a man spoke so brusquely with his wife today, he might find that flour poured over his head. But Sarah understood the need for haste and went about her business, turning their best flour—“a kind of semolina”—into loaves of bread, while Abraham selected a choice, tender calf and ordered a servant to prepare it.

Like a maître d’ at the ready, Abraham stood while the three visitors enjoyed their food, his heart beating with anticipation. A shared meal signified that he and his guests were “at peace, in union” and that God was about to bless him.

Excerpted from Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible
Copyright 2007 Liz Curtis Higgs
Published by WaterBrook Press
Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved.

(With Liz in Denver last year at ICRS)

A Simple Happy Birthday

“Where thou art, that is home.” --Emily Dickinson

A child can feel at home anywhere, especially if she is loved, accepted and treated well. And particularly when it’s a birthday, no matter where the party is held and friends are surrounding, you’ll see a glow of happiness on a child’s face.

Last week we had a party in our home. It’s what I’d call a “good ol’ fashioned” birthday party. Fourteen girls came to help celebrate my daughter’s 11th birthday. We played games for 2 ½ hours and enjoyed our homemade “Cold Stone” ice cream bar. A lot of laughter, silliness, competition, and genuine caring for one another transpired.

Some of our favorite games to play at birthday parties are:

Clothespins in the Jar
Cottonballs on the Shower Cap
Count the Candies in the Jar
Freeze Dance
People Bingo
Pictionary (w/white board)
Tasting Game
Telephone
Whipped Cream Pies
Many of these games I played as a kid growing up.

It does take time and energy to organize such a party, but the cost involved is so little, and the payoff huge. The kids really enjoyed the home environment with such simple fun.

Last year my theme birthday dessert for my kids’ parties was the “ice cream trough.” This year I tried to think of something a little out of the box, yet inexpensive.

The night before the party, Abby was in charge of chopping up her own toppings, and setting them up in a Cold Stone fashion. Cold Stone is an ice cream chain where the clerks mix up your ice cream flavor with toppings as you watch. With Halloween candy in the stores, Abby had a huge variety for the girls to choose from.

Cold Stone was generous enough to sell us their cones in a dish (fifty cents), we softened our own tubs of ice cream in large bowls, and we mixed up the treats on a cold stone.

What were we missing? Hoppi and I singing behind the counter! (Cold Stone tradition when you go into their stores).

At the end of the day we had a very happy little girl. Abby saw the effort I put into planning this party, and I also pointed out the importance of keeping costs down. She is learning the value of home celebrations and that keeping things simple is advantageous.

But more importantly, she is learning that being connected to her friends and being loved in return is really the gift she is looking for. And I saw this as she genuinely hugged each girl after opening each gift.

Elaborate and expensive can be exciting, but sometimes good ol’ fashioned fun is all we need.

I’d love to hear some of your fun, simple birthday ideas!

Before the Guests Arrive

I’ve learned through my years of entertaining to try to get some kind of time schedule in my head, so I can be ready when my guests arrive. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. But I at least have a goal and something to work toward.

I recently received an email from a friend saying:

My biggest challenge with entertaining is that, no matter how hard I try, I never seem to have everything prepared by the time my guests arrive. I then have to rely on my husband to keep guests occupied while I finish getting food together.

Working backwards helps me avoid the time crunch!

What I find useful is to make a list of everything I need to do that day. If my party is at 6, then I tell myself that I need to be ready to go at 5:30. I love to allocate an extra half-hour to be able to do last minute details, or even sit down and enjoy some alone time with my husband. If I need to be ready by 5:30, then I work backwards. I need a shower? Then I must be in the shower by 5ish. An hour prior to that is cooking preparations, or table setting.

I will admit though that something strange happens to me right before a dinner party, as I seem to kick into high gear with lots of energy! If I were ever a multi-tasker, now would be the time! I seem to have the most productive moments, as everything seems to come together.


I sometimes holler at my kids for a little help, too! They’ve seen their mom move like lightening! But one thing I have learned is to not steal the joy of those around me right before entertaining. The repercussions resulting from my disorganization should not be taken out on them.

Often I meet my goal, but not always. No one else really cares, or even knows. And it’s not the worse thing to happen if you are not done working in the kitchen when the guests arrive either!

As long as you greet your guests at the door, you can always send your husband out to visit with them while you finish up, or better yet - invite them into your kitchen to join you and put them to work!

How do you avoid the “time crunch” before your guests arrive?

(photos: very top, yummy potatoes and veggies from our garden, on the grill; middle, me cookin' up my favorite orange/carrot soup; bottom, last week we pulled out our garden and these beautiful potatoes!)

Simple Dining

Does it really matter about being proper? I mean, who really sets the rules when it comes to entertaining?

Do we have it in our minds that things have to be perfect, look a certain way, or that entertaining has to be in a formal setting – before we’ll even consider it?

Simple dining is sometimes the most enjoyable. Put together a simple, time-saving menu (my roasted chicken recipe is VERY easy and you do the prep ahead of time, pulling out of the oven when the guests arrive), delegate out the rest of the dishes you’d like to serve, put all of the food on the table, or even the bar counter in your kitchen, and SERVE!

Restaurant-like dining can be very stressful to the hostess, and time consuming, especially if you plan it with many courses, such as appetizers, soup or salad, an entrée, and dessert. Unless you have a 3-4 hour period to stretch it out, who needs all of that food anyway?

The most important thing you can do is spend time with your guests!

So break the rules! Keep it simple! Don’t over-complicate things when you can serve up family-style or buffet-style menus!

(The last of our 2007 garden tomatoes!)

I am Inspired!

Those who bring sunshine to the life of others cannot keep it from themselves. --James M. Barrie

These are some of the descriptive phrases that I have been reading from the fabulous book, Ruth Bell Graham, Celebrating the Extraordinary Life, from the chapter, Others: she brings out the best in others, helping others, complete acceptance of others, helping the underdog, an enormous capacity for others, a positive person … the list goes on and on.

From what I am reading about the extraordinary Mrs. Graham, and as I glance at the beautiful picture of her years ago, in her apron with a glowing smile on her face, I tend to think higher thoughts and I feel a little bit more motivated. Not a self-centered motivation, but an outward drive to pursue others.

I appreciate the fact that she had a simple, yet so classy way of living. It was comfortable but not extravagant. The truth is that she touched lives - over and over again.

I am once again inspired by the need to watch, learn and read about older, mature women.

(photos: my mother’s eyelet apron)