Lunch is Easy!

Isn't it so nice to have friends over for lunch, where there’s no pressure in serving a whole bunch of food?

There is something about making a lunch for others that just has a different feel and touch than making a dinner. Last Friday I experienced this as I had two friends over for lunch. One friend was on her lunch hour so we had only 45 minutes.

There is nothing better than homegrown lettuce, as it is so tender and tastier than store bought. And that is exactly what I served.

Using these guidelines, my Easy Lunch had meaning and taste!

· Make a salad, (I used lettuce from our garden) using what you already have in your fridge or cupboards or counters.
· Don’t run to the store! Be creative!!
· Serve water for the beverage.
· No pressure for dessert – most friends want to eat healthy these days!
· Have your food made up in advance, so when you guests arrive you can immediately sit down and take advantage of the time.
· Save the dishes for later! Your guests need to be able to leave immediately to get back to work.

Our time together was long past due. As we caught up with each other, we found ourselves saying, “Let’s do this again soon!” and “Why don’t we do this more often?”

Trying to look for ways to support, build up, stimulate and encourage another person takes an attitude of giving rather than receiving.

Starting small and easy, like a simple luncheon, is a great place to begin!

Next time I won’t wait so long!

(Are you looking for a delicious salad dressing that everyone will love? If I don’t have time to make a dressing from scratch, I always keep on hand a bottle of Riverhouse Blue Cheese. Drizzle on your salad lightly, and add a small amount of balsamic vinegar – and you can’t go wrong! This dressing is made in Pacific City, Oregon, a tiny surf-town tucked away off of HWY 101, that everyone should visit! Photos: salad served last Friday and tulips in our back yard!)

What My Mother Means to Me - by Abby Coughlin

My daughter, Abby, placed 3rd place in our school district writing competition, What My Mother Means to Me, and she was a finalist at the state level. I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation when my husband read it to me on Mother’s Day, with Abby cuddling by my side. I am truly thankful and honored to be the mother of my 3 children.


There are so many things that I could say about my mom, like how beautiful she is and how much fun she is to be around. Sadly I can only tell you three reasons why my mom is so wonderful.

First, she cares about us and always supports us too. I love it when my mom comes and tucks me in, and prays for me when I have a soccer game the next day or if I have a test in school. She is always there to help me.

My Mom also is a spectacular cook. I love it when we get to spend time together making cookies or our homemade strawberry jam.

Finally, she is beautiful inside and out. What makes her beautiful is that she trusts in God, has a wonderful personality and has beautiful eyes and a bright white smile.

Those are my reasons why I love my mom. She means the world to me and I wouldn’t trade her for anything.

(To read another post by Abby, No More Store-Bought Jams – go here. )

Can I Please Hold Your Hand? A Mother's Day Gift!

This week I was walking down the aisle of a local store when my eyes caught view of a woman, maybe in her late 60s, walking hand in hand with a woman in her 90s. They were walking very close to each other, in a very endearing way. I just knew they were mother and daughter. They each had a look of devotion in their eyes.

A pang went through my heart. Not only was this sight beautiful, but it also made me miss my mom, terribly. Oh, how I’d love to hold her hand as we walked down the aisle of a grocery store. I loved my mom’s hands. We’d always talk about the ridges in her fingernails, which I am now getting in mine. Mom’s hands were always busy in the kitchen cooking for her family or for guests. I think about my hands as I prepare for many dinners in my home. Mom worked the garden soil and canned. I’ve followed in her steps. She had a love for children, using her hands to prepare weekly Sunday school lessons, year after year. I love my Balcony Girls! We both have tied aprons around our waists as we geared up for giving out. We both have loved our husbands and families, deeply. We both have taken Motherhood very seriously, as God’s highest calling. And I see how God has used us both – by using our hands.

As I turned to my daughter and said, “Abby, do you mind if I hold your hand right now?” She said, “Sure Mom!”

So we walked around the store holding hands. She didn’t care and I didn’t care.

I came across this beautiful picture of my Mother giving her mother a hug, back in 1978. Although this photo is old, I could feel through their body language and glowing facial expressions a life of love and devotion. I know that my Mother felt the same way about her mom, as I do for her.

Even though Mom and Grandma are both gone now, I can’t help looking back at their love and zest for life – both contributing to this world by reaching out to others. Their hugs were real. There was no guile or deceit in the way they lived their lives.

Hugs and hand-holding have become real to me. They’re ways of reaching out and touching the one you are with. As I find myself walking alongside older friends, who are involved in my life, I realize that they stepped in at the perfect time - to be there for my family and me. If you saw them today, they’d each tell you that I occasionally will grab their hand, and hold it tight! I’ve learned to love their hands, almost as much as I loved my own mother’s. Thank you Auntie Ellen, Hoppi, Dee, Jeannie, Faye, and Ginny.

Thank you God, for these women’s hands!

And thank you, Abby, for letting me hold your hand, just this week. And for my boys, who never say “no” when I reach for their hand!


Thank you God, for the gift of Motherhood!

(Photos: Mom and Grandma Dubs in 1978; Coming home from hospital with newborn, “Abigail.” I love how this picture shows each of our hands! To read more about my Mother, you can go here. Or to read my Mother's Day post last year, go here.) NEXT POST: Abby's award-winning essay, What My Mother Means to Me!

I Found My Niche!

I think I found my niche! Your article on loneliness made me think of reaching out. Since I love older ladies AND Art, I have offered to host an Art Day, once a week in my home, for some older friends to come paint, and just hang out. I am SO EXCITED, and so are they! They are good artists, so it's not like anyone has to be the teacher.

I don't know why I haven't thought of this sooner? See what Reluctant Entertainer has started?

I love this heartfelt email I received from a friend who regularly reads my blog. She is an encourager and a "balcony friend" in my life, for sure. When she shared this with me, I was elated to see how she has taken her passions and gifts, and --with inspiration and motivation -- she is using them. I asked her, “why the older ladies?”

I appreciate that there is no competition in her answer.

I think what I love about these ladies is their realness. How they view life having come out of the losses of their husbands. They have some real insights about what once seemed like irritants in their lives, things that now have become endearing to them. For example, the husband not picking up his socks off the floor - now they miss it.

They laugh freely and aren’t trying to impress anyone. They will have a glass of wine at NOON and not care who sees them. They have a confidence and depth that goes beyond the wrinkles. They are truly beautiful. I learn so much from them, and yet in some way they seem to get something from me too. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I pray God is using this for Him somehow.

Again, if you are reluctant to have people into your home because you aren’t a good cook, then maybe food is not your venue. Maybe your passions are sewing, art, visiting with young moms, gardening, mentoring – you name it!

Use what you really care about to reach out and bring the passion back into your life. Then it will all fall into place, just like it did for my friend.

I’m inspired to do a better job with the things I’m passionate about.

Will you join me?

(To read more about Joy Stealers, go here. Beautiful watercolors painted by my anonymous friend! Top: Reflecting, He Calms the Storm. Bottom: Old Grey, Cream & Crimson.)

Dish Duty 101 - It Works in Our Home!

“Who’s doing the dishes tonight?”

This question has been asked too many times in our home! And when it’s asked, no one wants to volunteer the answer!

Even with fancy chore charts and creative ways to teach kids about responsibility, Paul and I are still looking for “new” ways and ideas for simplifying chores in our home. I bet most families in America struggle with this as well – dishes, that is!

A few months back, I talked about our family coming together for a meeting to discuss house rules, chores and allowances. Each kid came prepared with a clipboard, a pencil, and was asked to take notes. They then typed up individual contracts, signing them, and agreeing that they would be responsible and work toward their allowance each month.

A few readers asked me if I would share what the contracts included. To respect the privacy of our kids, I won’t do that (even tho they were so darn clever!) but I will say that each contract had to do with cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn, cleaning the bathrooms, making beds, practicing violin, picking up Haggis doo-doo, pulling weeds, etc. One thing that has worked fabulously for the last two months is what we call: Dish Duty 101!

At the beginning of each month, we write the kids’ initials on each day of the calendar. This has eliminated the conversation about, “whose turn it is to do dishes?” Each kid knows that if their initial is on the calendar, then it’s their responsibility to do dishes for the entire day! They know to check the calendar daily, and they know if they are going to be gone, to ask a sibling to cover for them.

I’ve had to get over the dishes not being done perfectly, or things being put away like I would prefer. My hubby has helped me learn to not overcorrect the kids if dishes are not done perfectly. (Isn’t that our job as mothers? To constantly correct? Not!!) I’ve learned to come along and say, “good job!" and it actually feels really good. And I’m thankful for their effort and willingness to work together.

The contracts are hanging by the calendar now and the kids are in the habit of checking daily if it’s their DISH DUTY day. Trying to keep the flow of the kitchen moving in a smoother fashion – alternating the kids and teaching them about Dish Duty 101 - works great for our family!

What do you do about dishes in your home?

(Above photos are taken from our strawberry bed in our backyard! We’ve never seen so many strawberry blossoms – which is good news! A BUMPER CROP OF STRAWBERRIES! Our bed is about 8 x 24 feet (for those interested). We purchase a few new plants of “ever bearing” strawberries every spring, planting them between the old ones.)

One of our favorite family traditions of eating strawberries is to dip them in sour cream, then roll in brown sugar. YUM!

And my husband ordered me a “surprise” from Gurney’s Catalog. Does anyone want to guess what came in the mail, to be planted in our garden?

Moving Graciously ...

A relaxed hostess moves graciously in the midst of her guests. I learned how to do this by watching my Mom and her sisters while growing up, as they were “hostesses-extraordinaire!” They had this art down. I also observed many friends over the years. I can name handfuls of gracious hostesses who have made an impact on my entertaining style!

I love getting mail from readers, and recently a newer hostess asked me a few questions that I feel are worthy of a post.

How do you move from course to course while entertaining?

In sharing with you some tips I’ve learned, and how I’ve implemented this art in entertaining, I will answer a few of her questions!

I would love to know how you move from one course in the meal to the other?
· Always think ahead, plan out your courses, and prepare what you can ahead of time (chopping, grating, mixing, etc.)
· Plan where you want to serve appetizers: patio, living room, family room, in the kitchen around the center isle.
· Make sure you have the appropriate dishes set on the table, or stacked in your kitchen ready for use (from appetizers through dessert).
· Think ahead of what your guests are bringing, and what utensils or bowls they may need and have them ready.
· As guests arrive, bring your food out onto the counter. IE, I’ll have my ginger chopped and peas washed in a bowl, salmon will be on the broiler with ingredients nearby – all set for cooking. If I’m preparing salad, it will be made up ahead of time, but not tossed until it’s time to eat. If I’m baking something, I will have the baking time in my head.
· After appetizers and everyone has been seated, I will start on course I. I usually hop up before we are finished with each course to get the next course ready, but then I’ll come right back and sit down and finish my salad with my guests.

How do you clear the table?
In between courses I’ll remove only the dirty dishes and the utensils. IE if it’s a salad course, I’ll remove the salad plate and one fork. Oftentimes one of the guests will offer to help me. Most of the time I will say, “No thank you. This is your night off!” Many times my husband will jump in and help me clear, as we really enjoy working together.

Do you ask for help?
· If I’m running a little behind when the guests arrive, I’ll ask for help. People love to help so don’t be afraid to ask!
· My husband is very good at moving graciously through the kitchen with me. Sometimes I’ll give him a little nudge if I need something, and he’s right on it.
· If I know a guest is bringing bread, I’ll set out the cutting board and a knife and will let them prepare the bread, or toss the salad (if they bring salad), or even help serve the dessert (if they bring dessert).
· I also always keep a water picture nearby, so anyone can feel free to jump up and fill the water glasses if I get busy doing something else.

Any secrets on keeping food warm?
· Of course the oven works, turning it down low. Or covering the dish with foil to keep the heat in.
· I usually try to time my dishes so that they’re done about ½ hour after the guests arrive. Sometimes I time them for later, depending on how many people are coming, and if we are having a course with appetizers.

Do you leave the dishes on the table and move to another room for dessert?
· I rarely serve dessert in another room, so I just clear the table as we move through the courses.
· There have been times when I’ve requested the guests leave the dishes, at the end of the evening. I really don’t mind doing clearing, and I’ve had my kids help!
· I don’t make a big deal of clearing – it just gets done! Sometimes when the party is over, everyone gets up and takes the dishes to the kitchen.
· This particular meal, we did move into the living room - much warmer! (Read post, here!)

I have found that the more entertaining I do, the more gracious I become! You just get into the groove, and practice makes … perfect? NO, we don’t say that word on my blog. But it does get easier, to entertain, the more you do it!

It’s a sustaining environment that draws people to our home. The ambience and an overall attitude! And a little tasty food on the table makes it even more attractive.

People can just feel your graciousness as you move from course to course.

Watch out, it’s catching!

(Related posts, read Rusty and Out of the Groove, here; Pass the Dirty Dishes, here; Before the Guests Arrive, here!)

I love new life! And here are my friend Barb’s new babies on her farm! She has a sheep farm in Wisconsin, with 18 new baby lambs. They are so precious! Tiny Lamb, Bendy Spine ("Bendy" for short), Doing Doing (pronounced "Doy-ng Doy-ng"), Pinky, Pinky Bro (for Pinky's brother), Blackie Girl, Loppie – are a few of their names.

May Day Baskets and Winner!

The girls were sneaking around in our neighborhood, going from door to door, as they didn’t want to be caught - lest they get a kiss! SMOOCH!!

For May Day, my daughter and her friend practiced a random act of kindness. Not only did they have a special time together, but using supplies that we had in our home (and a quick run to the market up the street for flowers), they whipped up little May Day flower baskets for our neighbors! They went around our neighborhood and secretly hung them on the front doors. The trick is this - you don't want the neighbor to see you! If you get caught, you are supposed to get a kiss.

I love May Day. It’s full of giving, love and surprise! As the girls were making their baskets, I read to them about other traditions around the world.

On May 1st, people in Hawaii celebrate their own version of May Day; calling it Lei Day. People give Hawaiian leis to each other. They put them around each other's necks and sometimes give a traditional kiss.

In France, cows play an important role in May Day. The cows are led in parades with many flowers attached to their tails. The people watching try to touch the cows; it is believed to be good luck.

In Germany, one tradition is for boys to secretly plant a May tree in front of the window of the girl they love.

In London, May Day is celebrated with the children going from house to house. They bring flowers and get pennies in return. The pennies are then thrown into a wishing well. Then they are donated to charity.

I want to thank all of my kind friends for the very thoughtful comments that they left on the giveaway post. Wow! They were very encouraging, and if I could, I’d present to each one of you – on this May Day – these beautiful baskets full of flowers!

Happy May Day! Surprise a friend with flowers, or a phone call, or even a big HUG today. Or tell them how much you appreciate them.

Here’s to the winner of the apron & book!! Susie, from Pink Carnation in Bloom!!

“Kind words bring no blisters on the tongue that speaks them nor on the ear which hears them. Kind words are never wasted. Like scattered seeds, they spring up in unexpected places. Kindness is a conquering weapon. Kindness should not be all on one side. One good turn must have another as its return, or is will not be fair. He who expects kindness should show kindness. This is the high and holy mark of friendship.” Charles Haddon Spurgeon, 1834-1892

(For those of you who inquired about the camera I use, it is a Kodak EasyShare C360. Nothing fancy!) Read new Crosswalk post, here, on Combating Loneliness!